Saturday, September 13, 2014

Widows....and breakage.

I think I can vent here, since no one ever looks at this blog anyway...but I digress. They say when you are widowed, three things break immediately.  I dont' know why that is, but it does seem to happen more times than not.  In my case, it's been 9 things in less than two years.  On a fixed budget, that makes it impossible to replace things.  So I'm paring down, I no longer have a dishwasher, that was about the third thing to break.  I had to have a hot water heater, that went out the day my husband died.  The tires for my care (2) had to be replaced, that was a given.  The washer still works, although it leaks all over the floor every time I use it, I can't afford to get it fixed.  The lawnmower died...I waited until someone turned me in for high grass and bought the cheapest little push mower I could find.  Then the weedeater died...did the same, cheapest version I could find.  The microwave broke.  The car had to be worked on. My brother got cancer and had to travel two hours one way to a doctor, so I helped out as much as I could.  The little cheap weedeater just died again.  Geesh.  Now, it's not like I live high on the hog.  I have a small 900 sq ft house.  I drive an old used car.  I don't have alot.  I get my hair done on average once every four years.  I dont' do my nails.  I don't do pedicures.  I don't do fancy clothes, if I can't buy it at walmart or a thrift store, I don't buy it.  I don't spend on high dollar otherwords, I'm super low maintenance.  But still.  My debt is WAY out of control, because I have to eat, and buy gas, and buy toilet paper.  Decided to try to do Dave Ramseys debt son in law lost his job, they have four kids to feed, and my brother has another surgery coming up in a week (he has stage four cancer).  It's enough.  Enough I tell you.  I'm telling the universe, it's enough.  I need something good to happen in my life.  I don't know what I'm going to do when my washer finally gives up the ghost.  Wash in the sink I guess.