Why I Hate Valentine's Day

Ok, we are all hearing it everywhere we go!  Valentine's, Valentine's.  What I'm getting, what I want, how wonderful my spouse is, look at what he bought for me.  Ok, hate is a very strong word.  But it's one of the hardest days of the year, Valentine's Day just makes me sad.

I get it.  You love your spouse.  You are so happy he remembers to give you something, and on this one day of the year especially.  But you see, my spouse has been gone for four Valentine Day's now. And it never gets any easier.  It's a day I truly wish I could curl up in bed and just hide from the world.  And even the week before.  I hear it everywhere I go.  I see it constantly on Facebook, or Twitter, or even television.  It's....difficult.

So what can you do?  If you have a friend who has lost their spouse, here are a few suggestions.

• You can call them beforehand and just ask them how they are doing, if they need to talk, if they want company.
• You can send them a card, but for heaven's sake, do not send a Valentine card.
• You can take them out to dinner, a few days beforehand, please, that specific day is one no widow wants to be out.
• You don't have to hide your gifts or happiness from us, but please don't flaunt them, it just reminds us that we will never get another one from our spouse.
• You can continue to be happy with your spouse, because we truly want that for you and are very happy that you can experience that, because we can't.

Mourning never truly ends for us.  It is an ongoing journey.  And we live with it daily.  Valentine's Day is just a reminder of how hard that journey has been and will continue to be.

So, I don't truly hate Valentine's Day, but it does make me very sad and it is a day I can do without. A day I would like to forget.  One that has no notation on my calendar.

Until next time.

St. Valentine's Day

Ever wonder why we call February 14th Valentine's day?  I never knew the reason until just the last 10 years or so.  I just thought it was like other holidays, got it's name somewhere in the distant past.  I never thought about why it was named Valentine's Day!

There were actually three Valentine's in the Catholic Church in the third and fourth century.  It is widely held that St. Valentine was a priest that lived in the Roman Empire during the reign of the Emperor Claudius II in the third century A.D.  During that time, it was illegal in the Roman Empire for couples to marry in the Church.

St. Valentine's married couples in secret, without the permission of the Emperor of Rome.  For this he was jailed.  While he was in jailed, it is said, he found favor with the Emperor, and attempted to convert him to Christianity.  This angered the Emperor and he ordered Valentine condemned to death.  He was executed outside the Flaminian Gate in Rome on February 14th, 269 A.D.

His feast day was first established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 A.D.

It wasn't until Chaucer wrote "Parliament of Foules" in 1381 that St. Valentine was associated with a day for lovers.

Since then, it has evolved into a day that celebrates love.

May you have a St. Valentine's Day full of love, and remembrance for a saintly priest who gave his life for the Christian faith.

Until next time.