Saturday, January 23, 2016

Faith, Grief and Love, Part Two


So, yesterday I shared a few of the realizations I had been given on Faith, especially in relation to Grief and Love.   Today, I'd like to share a few I've been given on Grief.  Most of us try to avoid talking about grief.  Life is easier that way.

Grief is something every human will experience at one point in our lives, unless that life is cut short at a very young age.  Many books have been written about it.  Many songs have been penned.  It's full of angst and heartache and is still necessary for the human experience.  It's the one thing we do not like to talk about.  For those who haven't been touched by grief, I hope you can take something away from this to help you in a future time.  For those who have experienced it, I hope you can see this and realize that you are not alone.


All of us have heard that old adage that time heals all wounds.  My father was the first person in my life who told me this.  I don't believe that's true now.  I believe that time gives us the essential ingredient to learn to live with grief instead of 'getting over' grief.  It's something you never get over.  But like a physical scrape, it scars over, and we are able to carry on, although forever changed.


Yes, we have to be very tenacious.  We have to have that stick to it-ness in us.  Many just do not.  My father-in-law did not have it.  He was a great guy, but when my mother-in -law died, he buried himself in a bottle and waited.  Basically, he waited to die so he could be with her.  Some of us are given more strength.  And we go on, even if we dont' want to.  And believe me there have been times, when I've thought maybe I didn't want to either.  But here I sit, typing away on my computer.


Yes, it is.  It changes everything about us.  Our entire lives are turned upside down.  Our purpose is forever changed.  Our future is gone, we have to rebuild a completely new future without our loved one.  Transformational?  Oh yes.  Sharing these experiences is something I would not have ever though I could do ten years ago.  But my grief made me a different creature.  I hope I can help one person navigate these lonely roads.

Those are my three for today.  They gave me many hours of structured thought while I was dealing with my grief.  They did help me on my journey, whether or not I was in the middle, or even at the beginning of grief, they helped me realize I was not alone.  Faith always comes first, but grief has given me many tools now to use to go forward in my life. 

Love is always there, in the background, sometimes it comes forward to play a starring role, sometimes just a supporting actress.  But it's there nonetheless and tomorrow I share my three top things I have learned about love, while in the midst of grief.

Until next time.

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